1/15/2004 10:08:00 AM by Rob

Dipshits of the year, so far

From all indications, Greg Maddux will become a Cub. The verbage out of Hendry and out of Bore-ass (the Great Satan) is that it will be a done deal, but they're going to try and draw every last penny that they can, which I guess is their right. Just as long as Mad Dog isn't wearing a shirt this summer with little dumbass red birds.

No, my dipshits of 2004, so far, is the crew of the Mars lander. I'm sure by now you've seen some of the footage of the scene at Mission Control at NASA, at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, and at some of the other government facilities responsible for portions of the project. As any child of the sixties can attest, the Apollo missions were HUGE to us, landing on the moon, bringing back rocks, inventing Tang. Space will always hold a type of fascination to us, and certainly what NASA has done on, what is for them, a shoestring is a great accomplishment, and I do congratulate them.

But, Oh, My, God, these people have just taken it too far. Most of us work on a project basis, whether you hang iron in a skyscraper, write code for data warehouses, or teach a room of 7 year olds about the Sacraments so they can receive Eucharist. At the end, we are all jubilant at a job well done.

But THIS bunch a nerds were jumping around like a indulgent home-schooled child after spelling "antioxidant" on an ESPN spelling bee! And the stuff they were saying...the "personnification" of the land rover. Their "Baby", their "Toddler", "taking its first steps", "dipping a toe in the water", here is a sampling of last night's quotes:

"Mars is now our sandbox

We are ready to play and learn

Our wheels are finally dirty

There are probably several hundred people here for whom it's the best day of their lives,"

Look, guys-n-gals. Good job. Way to go. Free deli meats and cheeses for all, collect your bonuses at the door.

But you have all lost sight of something that I personally think is important...the Rover is a THING. An inanimate object. It is NOT a baby, NOT a person, it is an IT. Come to find out, many of you actually found someone else to BREED with, and many of you actually have REAL children at home, who are currently being negelected while you spend every waking hour at the "office", twiddling your joysticks.

Really, dudes. Come outside. Mow a lawn. Dig in the dirt. Go to a soccer game...something. Because you all have not only lost perspective, you couldn't find it with one of your fucking geo-synchronical sattelite devices.

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