1/16/2004 03:14:00 PM by Rob

The Cubs Convention

Many people seem to think because I am an uncouth sloth, live in the Chicago Area, and have been a diehard fan since b4 we landed on the moon, that I should be at the Cubs Convention.

Never been. To be honest, meeting my heroes has never been a priority. The few times I have, I was for the most part disappointed. Bruce Sutter is an exception.

But the real reason is simply this: I just wasn't on the ball for the 45 seconds between it was announced and when it was sold out.

Besides, if I want to mingle with the unwashed masses, huge hulking lugs and sinewy genetically-shortchanged mongrels, all wearing double knit polyester, most lacking any familiarity with the notion of "deodorant", hypertensive bellowing idiots who can't help bumping up against me and making me feel real uncomfortable, I can just finally go to one of my high school class reunions.

Ohhh, ok. I confess. Junior high class reunions. My HS reunion could be held in a phone booth, dropout rates being what they were in 1982 in Black Lung.

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