12/03/2003 02:55:00 PM by Rob

But I warn everyone at the top of my blog

I have had several key people tell me that there is 2 much cussin' in my blog.

OK, thanks for the heads-up.

This will shock many of you, but I actually try to LIMIT it! I figure that my best chance of ever being taken seriously as a writer is to play it clean.

But let's look at a few things, shall we?

First of all, the site is called The Uncouth Sloth. Look up "uncouth" in your Funk & Wagnall's...it isn't going to come up as "erudite" or "mealy-mouthed". You gotta know what yer buyin' when you come over.

Next of all, it's been a long time since I got so hot that I threatened to fist-fuck any nuns. I usedta talk about abusing nuns and old librarian ladies all the time. I haven't wanted to shear Sammy Sofa's nuts off in some time, and I have gone far, far out of my way NEVER to use the term "cat menstruation" in a sentence, ever! So this IS a kinder, gentler Sloth you are ingesting here and now.

Weren't you mad after game 6? So was I. Weren't you crushed when Maddux took equal money to go to the Braves? I was. Didn't you want to pull your hair out in one grotesque motion every time you saw Antonio Alfucksucka or Felix Horridia walk to the mound?

The Cubs stir up extreme emotions for me, and I express them here. There are enough sites picking apart OPS and Range factors. This one tells you what I see, and my view is indeed obstructed by nearly 35 years of heartbreak and disappointment.

I do apologize, though, if something has struck you wrong, particularly in the non-Cubs related areas. I vow someday to play old-time hockey, play it straight, like Eddie Shore, Bill Simmons and Andy Dolan. I don't wanna goon it up.

Uh-oh, the old man just waddled into the clubhouse.

"...Piss on Eddie Shore! YOU'RE BLOWING IT!!! There are scouts...from ev-er-y NHL team in the stands. All the publicity, all the fashion shows, all the radiothons....they came..to see...The Chiefs! Not this bunch of....pussies!"

Scouts?

Broten just hangs his head....

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