11/12/2003 10:39:00 AM by Rob

You tell me how this wouldn't work

This won't happen, I'm afraid, because the Tribune has only stepped out ONCE to be a financial leader, and that didn't work out well, when Ryno became the highest paid ballplayer in 1993, and by mid-year 1994 was retiring under the pressure of having to meet the resulting expectations. At least that is what the public story is...I would be willing to bet that the true reason was the pressure of having a slut bitch whore for a wife, but the Trib thinks it has been there and done that, and it won't happen again.

But anyway, say for instance that they WOULD want to trade for A-Rod? Okay, what would it take for a future Hall-of-Famer, the best shortstop of all time? Because of his unprecedented contract, not as much as it should.

First of all, you make them take Alex Gonzalez. Then they take Damian Miller, since Buck Showalter loves him. Then you give them a top prospect. They want two, but I fight them hard to settle for one, and I try real hard to steer them away from Angel Guzman, but if need be, I don't let that stop me.

Then, yep, I gotta give them Kerry Wood. This sucks, because he IS a leader, but I just want to point something out to everyone who is waiting for him to become the next Nolan Ryan....

...which, BTW, is no great shakes. How many rings does he have? How many 20-game seasons can he claim? Anyway, I go to the Baseball Reference to quickly access his "similarity" scores, and I fully expected Mr. Ryan's name out there.

Not only did it NOT pop up, here is what did:
1. Jack McDowell (956)
2. Blue Moon Odom (950)
3. Ron Darling (949)
4. Ray Culp (949)
5. Wilson Alvarez (949)
6. Pete Harnisch (948)
7. Steve Busby (948)
8. Chuck Dobson (943)
9. Bob Turley (943)
10. Joey Jay (942)

Just a complete "Who's who" of guys who, to quote Neil Young, "burned out, not faded away". Out of these ten, nearly all of them had one or two big years, and none of them was contributing anything by age 30.

On the other hand, here are the similarity scores for A-Rod:

1. Ken Griffey Jr. (781)
2. Mel Ott (768) *
3. Mickey Mantle (764) *
4. Hank Aaron (744) *
5. Frank Robinson (735) *
6. Eddie Mathews (733) *
7. Johnny Bench (727) *
8. Jimmie Foxx (720) *
9. Cal Ripken Jr. (709)
10. Al Kaline (686) *

I've heard of a few of these guys...haven't you?

I make this trade faster than I can pee, and I don't let anybody stop me.

---