10/15/2003 11:22:00 AM by Rob

The moron who interfered should be killed!

ORCHARD PARK, NY: I know, the fucknuts didn't walk the batter, give up the additional hits, walks, sac flies, etc.

But, I believe in the 1945 Billy Goat, the 1969 Shea Stadium black cat, Royko inflaming the SD fans in 1984. I honestly could not watch the game last night. I just knew we were going to choke on it.

God has chosen, and He is giving me a day to brood, bent over in the position, just waiting for tonight when He is going to finish shoving it up my bunghole. He puckered me over last night, and just like one of the whores on maxheadroom.com, I'm just hunched over, lipstick smeared all over my mouth, with my red gaping orifice open wide enough to shove a pop bottle in.

Kids, now you know what 1984 felt like, as we watched a seemingly unsurmountable lead slip away. You now know why we old fucks are so cynical. You now know about leaning way too hard on a sure thing like Mark Prior. You now realize that we are cursed, that the 2003 curse of the moron Walkman fan is just another manifestation of Satan's hold over the Cubs. You now know not to count your money until the dealing is done. You will know how it feels to keep a bottle of cheap champagne in your fridge until the foil peels off of the neck, the label fades to illegibility, and the bubbles flatten to vinegar.

You now know why we are so desperate.

I thought Dusty was the Messiah. I guess the weight of the Curse is even too much for him.

I said Cubs in six. I am now officially wrong. Marlins in 7. Dear God, just be quick, and don't stand over me afterwards and bellow "Who's my bit-cha?"

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