8/19/2003 10:25:00 AM by Rob

Well, throw another '33' in there

Being the GM and President of the Cubs must be like going on a shopping spree with Rosie O'Donnell and Penny Marshall. Take the checkbook, kids, and a cart, and fill it up with whatever you can find. Oh yeah, and welcome to K-mart!

We now have 2B Tony Womack, the worst hitter in the NL amongst regulars. Yes, his contract is up after this year, as is Grud, Karros, Lofton, Alfucksucka, Bako. I guess McFail and Ringo Hendry are "going for it" this year, but instead of sure things, they are trying to wring the last drops out of dry sponges.

It's personal. I would enjoy watching a team full of big names in their prime. I enjoyed watching the Bears in 1985, the Bulls in the nineties, and....and....anyway. If we could have gotten an Aaron Boone, a Mike Lowell, a Johnny Damon, Scott Rolen, Mike Piazza...some of the other real All-Stars that have been available in one way or another the last few years? That would have been novel and exciting...to just sit back and watch the Big Name Cubs whale the shit out of people.

Barring that little pipe dream, let's go young. What is more satisfying than watching a bunch of kids grow up and take tha candy from tha big boys? Imagine if this was CPat and Choi and Hill and Kelton running a half-game out in Mid-August? Maybe it would all fall apart next year, but chances are that it wouldn't....to have a future so bright, you have to squint all the time.

But what do we have? A bunch of has been's, never were's, and mercenaries. A bunch of guys that don't field their positions well enough to stick with their former teams. A bunch of guys who were let go from bad teams because they make too much money to justify having them around. Womack didn't do enough for Arizona, Pittsburgh, or Colorado to earn the pro-rated amount of his $6M contract, but he's going to make up for it here?

I can't get excited seeing us trot out Womack, Simon, Karros, Lofton, Ramirez...a bunch of guys who weren't here to start the season, who won't be here after the season's over, or both! Even if we did win a division, and there's a bunch of guys at the end of September in Cubs shirts jumping around, who we barely know? Just because they wear the "C" doesn't mean I love them!! Sure, it's better to see the "C" then the stupid fucking red birds perched on the bat, or a stupid fucked-up "A" that looks like a shooting star. But I have no investment in these guys, except for Wood, Prior, Z, Clement, most of the pen, and gulp! Sammy Sofa?

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