8/07/2003 09:41:00 AM by Rob

Non-Cub portion of today's postings

The White Trash icon, meth-head William Ligue, Jr., was allowed to go home yesterday by an obviously bleeding-heart liberal judge who brought the hammer down in the form of probation, community service, and drug treatment.

"Oh, please judge, not COMMUNITY SERVICE?!? NOOOO! Let me do TIME! I BEG you?"

Now, I have been told that his sentence was quite lenient, but not terribly out of line from what he would have gotten if he had, for instance, rolled out of the Wagon Wheel Saloon in Midlothian, and started drunkenly pummeling a 60-year-old man waiting for the train.

Whatever. The sentence, farcical it may be, cannot match the judge's rationale for why the sentence was invoked.

From today's Chicago Sun-Times, Criminal Court Judge Leo Holt.

"The violence that baseball players are exposed to comes from within," Holt said. "What fan has not seen a pitcher intentionally hurl a baseball at a player's head at 90 mph? Who has not seen a batter leave home plate headed for the pitcher's mound bat in hand bent on mischief and mayhem?

"What is the expected conduct of fans who sit for two or three hours drinking unlimited quantities of beer? How did Comiskey Park come to be known as the world's largest outdoor saloon?''

First of all, yer honor, Wrigley Field is the World's Largest Outdoor Saloon. Nobody has ever called The Cell that. It is obvious that this mope doesn't watch baseball, has never watched baseball, and wouldn't know what end of a bat to hold on to.

Next of all, at $5+ a pop, I don't think a South-side trailer trash like Billy Legue could AFFORD to drink "unlimited quantities of beer". I think the crystal meth might have had a little somthin to do with the attack.

But, most of all, what he is saying that SPORTS were to blame for the outburst. That Legue was such a rambunctious little boy, that he couldn't be trusted to sit in his seat while watching a competitive event? Even if there were on-field incidents, which on this particular night there WEREN'T, pretty much all of us know that we can't go running out and get involved.

It's pretty simple. Trash Boy took a lot of drugs, his mind snapped, and he did something entirely random, stupid, and irresponsible. The Judge could have sent a message to fans everywhere about their proper place in the setting of a ball game.

But, SHIT, when I go to my game next month, and Alfucksucka gives up three walks in a row, I'm going to rush the field to try to pound his big smelly ass. And when I go to trial, I'll just have by lawyer say, "Hey, Judge Holt said that sports are a violent business, and I COULDN'T CONTROL myself, and why should I have to?"

I might not even have to go through drug rehab.

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